my now former roommate michelle left philly this morning.
bless her heart she drove with me 3 straight days across the country, and was then used for physical labor to unpack and move all my belongings. she left this morning at the crack of dawn and i must confess i didn’t fully emotionally respond at the airport when she left, because you see it was 6 in the morning- much too early for feelings. but then i came back to my apt and realized that life here is indeed very different from college- and then it wasn’t too early for feelings.
i moped around orientation today, feeling offended that the aggie i so graciously tried to befriend was cold and uninterested in a longhorn friend. i confess i found myself trying to act cooler and funnier than i really am in order to make new friends fast. maybe if i crack more jokes people will like me more? or maybe i should just give up on this time-consuming quest searching for friends and community and a church and just study 24/7.
and then this afternoon i read from the devotional book the foshea gave me as a going away gift. in it was an excerpt by CS Lewis and funny enough he pondered the call of Jesus to give up everything to follow Him. family, friends, security, all of it. Jesus asked for all of it because complete surrender was what it would take, it was necessary. after reading i realized that the same surrender applies to all areas of life, including the seemingly ‘unspiritual’ aspects, like friends, and whether or not to be cool. do i change who i am, even if they’re not spiritual or moral things about myself to get to an end, or do i just abide and trust that He has come here before me is providing all in due time, according to His great wisdom?
i’m still having to figure out a lot of details with regards to how my life will look with this whole law school thing- apparently it takes up a lot of time. i just dont know how much time it should take up. and in relation to that, as a warning, i wont be/shouldn’t be blogging as much as i used to now that i seem to have 5,001 things to study or read. but God is still infinitely more good and faithful to me than I deserve, even if I dont have all the time in the world to just sit around and blog. so please continue to check in and please continue to pray for my time here!