Easter totally got jipped

i’ve been thinking lately, protestants don’t make a big deal out of lent.

i didn’t even know what lent was until I went to college and befriended a catholic.

between Christmas and Easter, Christmas totally gets all the hype. which is strange because you’d think Easter is the climax of the life of Jesus.

3 major major ways Easter lost out to Christmas:

1. Representatives

Christmas got Santa Clause. Easter got a bunny. Does the bunny bring you presents?

 No.instead they hide eggs. where’d the eggs come from? the disciples did not bring eggs whilst Jesus hung on a cross. eggs are totally irrelevant, no where mentioned in scripture (i’m 90% sure of that), and eggs taste bad. (they only belong in cookies and cake).

Santa Claus obviously beats out some lame bunny. Mr. C is happy, and jolly and rich. that’s why kids all love him – if you’re good with Mr. C, you get presents. even though Santa Claus doesn’t get mentioned in the scriptures, i’m pretty sure that his cameo in the Chronicles of Narnia almost makes up for that. (c.s. lewis obviously believed in santa claus, that’s gotta count for a lot)

2. V********’s Day

Christmas has the perk of being preceded by a holiday that engages with the message of Christmas. Thanksgiving is when we spend time with family and reflect on the blessings that God has given us. which is great because it points us to Christmas, to get us excited for the birth of the messiah.

Easter, omg. poor old Easter. Easter’s prelude is… valentines day. v-day (as i call it) totally

 takes away from the importance of the world being redeemed by a perfect and self sacrificing God. v-day is completely commercially, unnecessarily pink and just annoying. (seriously

 couples? you’re gonna buy chocolate to show “love”? that’s pretty much insulting to the love Jesus showed the world on Easter)  i’m convinced Christendom misses lent because it’s too busy recovering from the tragedy valentine’s day.

3. Season

i was raised by a peculiar mother. and she was convinced that Easter was more important than Christmas. i’m not saying that that’s true, but if it is, Easter should definitely have voted for the winter. those pagans sure were onto something when they had seances and such during the winter. after coming close to not surviving my first winter on the east coast, irealized that it gets really really cold in some places. and when it get colds, it sucks. the only thing that can make up for such terrible weather is a divine Holiday. that way, the contrast between the festivities and ghastly weather make the festivities that much more fun and special. Christmas during the winter is great. when i’m freezing and hidden under 5 layers, and oppressed by finals, i need a holiday to discourage my scar-casm. 

Easter however. Easter’s in the spring. spring is when the ugliness melts away, and the earth regains life. it’s already pretty outside. people are already in a better mood. they’re not really looking for something to cheer them up cuz they’re outside running around in flip flops while making peppy remarks about the lovely 56 degree weather. (yes, people say things like that here)

so you see, let’s recognize that Easter really does lose out on a lot of hype, and that’s not okay. cuz Easter too is about the messiah too.

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3 responses to “Easter totally got jipped

  1. stupid valentine’s day.

  2. haha, you forgot to mention that bunnies don’t lay eggs

  3. oh and St. Patrick’s day

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