how to be “legitimately” distracted during finals

i’ve gone to grad school straight out of college.

although this sucks in terms of fighting for a job, there are a few perks. (other than automatically looking good relative to your colleagues that are balding 30 something year olds)

one of them is that we know how to procrastinate during finals, and how to procrastinate well. while our classmates sit around studying cuz they couldn’t find anything good to waste time on, i laugh away as i spend time outside the library.

when finals roll around, ANYTHING sounds more fun than studying. and i mean anything. sometimes i even think about picking up exercising.

here are some “legitimate” (aka holy) excuses for not studying – you know you’re not gonna study on your 1st of 5 dead days. you might as well spend it doing something that you aren’t allowed to feel guilty about.

1. Church

don’t ever study on the 1st sunday of dead week. sure in the past you’ve studied on the sabbath cuz you didn’t do anything all weekend. (heaven forbid we miss a football game) and even though you may have never felt convicted about doing work on the sabbath, since class is the next day, dead week is the time to start changing bad habits. why study on the sunday of dead week when you’ll have 5 days afterward to teach yourself an entire semester of tax? so put aside the ways of the world. throw down that book, and go to both services at church. observe the sabbath.

2. Reading Spiritual Books

our walk with the Lord is not to be neglected under any circumstance. even though i’ve finished zero books throughout semester, i feel compelled that in the midst times of spiritual struggles (i.e. finals) – we should do things to make sure that we don’t backslide during finals. so pull out all the books you bought at barnes and noble that you never read and start reading them. i’m sure that if we read spiritual books, God can transfer the penal code into your brain while you sleep.

3. Eating

i don’t cook during the semester b/c “i don’t have time.” (which i probably don’t). but somehow, i feel like it’s okay to waste time cooking food i won’t eat when i should be studying for finals.

“i should cook this before it goes bad…” always works.

“God wouldn’t want me to waste good food when there are people starving in Africa…”

these all justify cooking instead of studying. if you’re not convinced, always remember that you can share food, and that the time you spend cooking instead of studying is really your way of serving someone who might need food.

4. Going to a Coffee shop with a friend to study and “catch up”

coffee shops are where cool people study, and where spiritual people meet for “one on ones.”

why not kill 2 birds with one stone? pick your most chatty friend and go to a coffee shop. you still feel like you’re being productive b/c it’s a coffee shop and you brought a textbook. but if you never reach the point of actually opening the book, tell yourself that you needed to invest in eternal relationships and re-connect with friends. you tried to study (you brought your 5 lb textbook all the way to starbucks), but it was obviously the Lord’s will for you to spend time with your friend.

that’s all i have for now.

as i get closer to finals, i’ll probably have lots more to add.


2 responses to “how to be “legitimately” distracted during finals

  1. coffee shops are where cool people study, and where spiritual people meet for “one on ones.

    love it.

    another way to be distracted? read blogs. and play word twist.

  2. I’d go to a coffee shop with you anytime of the semester. Although, since it is spring, I suggest we head to sno-beach for a study break afterwards.

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